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Monday, March 28, 2011

Please just choose for me

Everything I do needs a place, but I've run out of room to keep it all.
PLEASE COME CHOOSE FOR ME.

I remember when I was little, and I had more stuffed animals than I knew what to do with. But I wanted all of them. I couldn't let myself give any away. So then, of course, my mom made suggestions.
"How about this one?"
"NOOOo I LoooooooVe that one!"
"I didn't even know you had him...let's give him to another child who would really treasure him!"
(We would repeat this about 3 or 4 times until my mother gave up. haha).

That was hard for me. But those are stuffed animals, and this is LIFE. A bit more difficult.

I like to do everything, be everything, and own everything. It's selfish. At the same time, part of that ownership is good, and it shapes who I am. I love having things to do. It allows me to be a more confident person. But I have to make some decisions. Or, LET them be made. I'd love for God to close so many doors...all but the ones he wants me to go through. I want to throw my hat over the fence and commit to becoming good at something. I've spent a long time trying to do a lot of things at once. Which is darn fun. I've always liked it. But I'm ready for a DEDICATED adventure. An adventure with a GOAL. So. Do I wait for doors to open and doors to close? Do I drop everything else and go for the thing that has been tugging at my heart? That's a big move. I'm not so sure about that one. But I want it, too.

I never knew waiting for something would take so long.

//One road says hello, the others says goodbye
And the roads that you don’t choose begin to die.//
-jforeman