I'm sitting on my kitchen floor. Eating pasta. Almost like they do in movies. Except that in movies, it seems most people sitting on their kitchen floor are backed by an incredible song that magnifies implied emotion while they eat their food and grieve their recent break-up, or lost job, or lost hope. I'm not doing that right now, though, thankfully. Although the real good song wouldn't be bad.
The circumstances in my life aren't horrible at all, in fact. I like to pretend they are at times, when I'm feeling discontent, or jealous, or impatient. And then I go full throttle into self-pity, fear, and doubt, if I really want to. Isn't that stupid? To pretend like life is horrible, when it's not? Self-pity really isn't worth it. But I pretend it is. Things so often tend to be JUST what you make of them. Which is scary.
Some of you have heard me talk about this, and related topics so much recently. I'm just stuck on it.
At this point, I guess I'm dumbfounded at...how I'm where I am and who I am. I could be anybody. But I'm not. Demographics and psychographics could be different, but they're not. I'm here, now, me.
I've been made fearfully and wonderfully (with imperfections) for the purpose of becoming strong in the things I'm worst at by a God who will one day make everything RIGHT again. That's really hope-filled. That's where I get my optimism, I guess. I'm not sure why it was given to me, but I think God knew I'd need it. I'd be down the tuuuuube if I didn't feel hopeful and grateful. This faith is special. I cherish it. I don't deserve to be a part of it. That makes it even more special
"But I will never stop loving him, nor allow my promises to fail." Psalm 86:33.
The really brilliant thing is that no matter how bad your circumstances are, there's still BOATLOADS of compassion, mercy, love, hope, peace, and blessings to cover. We were meant to be overflowing with these things. I selfishly cheat myself out of them all too often.
"For if our hearts condemn us, God is GREATER than our hearts, and knows all things." 1 John 3:20
Don't sabotage yourself. (There's enough junk in this world that does that job).
